ABSTRACT ON THE INCREASE OF DANGEROUS ARMITAGE MODES IN THE FANDOM POPULATION

The  syndrome known as ARMITAGE PROTECTION MODE   (APM) came to my attention awhile back when I was engaging in one of  my newest forms of relaxation, reading Armitage blog archives. First identified by noted Armitageian, RAFrenzy,  the syndrome has come to mean the circumstance in which one set of fans ( the Protectors and Defenders) worries about and takes action against other  fans who get too public about what they think they know about Mr. Armitage’s private life or who publish real life fantasies or fanfics in which they appear with the real Mr. Armitage.

APM is an outgrowth of two other Armitage conditions. The first to be identified was  ARMITAGE OBJECTIFICATION MODE  (AOM), first coined by Servetus on “Me and Richard” and which, frankly, I think we’re basically all suffering from, ( squee, oomph, yum, slurp, thud, ) – the joy and need to gain pleasure from looking at Richard Armitage . Perry examines this  here.

Studies ( by Perry)  have shown  that AOM is actually a more severe strain of what she  identifies as AIM, or  “ARMITAGE INTROSPECTION MODE,” in which the fan searches deep into her psyche to explain her fandom, explores her non-sleeping dream states, and discovers that waking up next to imaginary Armitage , allowing him to make her morning coffee and advising her on how to handle the snafus in her life, is a better antidote to the deep therapy that the Protectors and Defenders think she needs.

But I digress.

If ARMITAGE OBJECTIFICATION MODE (and its off-shoot ARMITAGE INTROSPECTION MODE) is the first condition that gave rise to APM, then ARMITAGE DETECTION MODE,  also discovered by the neophyte, Perry,  is the second.

ARMITAGE DETECTION MODE (ADM) according to Perry in her paper, ‘Abstract on the Increase of Dangerous Armitage Modes in the Fandom’.  ( WordPress 2013)  is the obsessive compulsion of thousands of Armitage fans to scour news, social media sites, other blogs and message boards- and yes, even municipal property records, in order to ferret out every scintilla of  fact or rumor  that offers up the latest news, photo, comment, beverage choice, literary interest, movie attended,  regarding Mr. Armitage.

Researchers ( Perry) have begun to identify an alarmingly growing number of related Armitage disorders spreading rampantly in the fandom, including the rarely diagnosed ARMITAGE DEFLECTION MODE (ADM2) an obsessive need to rebut or explain away any, even minutely critical, statement against Mr. Armitage.  Examples are,  his occasional omission of the possessive apostrophe (maybe he doesn’t approve of possessiveness) and his inability to think on his feet in a  world-wide broadcast and produce the title of a song  that typifies his life to date ( isn’t ‘It’s Blank” a song? Maybe the weight of  his curls were impeding his brain function).

ARMITAGE DEJECTION MODE( ADM3) is the severe depression and ennui that attacks the fandom when there is no new mention of Armitage in press or social media  despite flare-ups  of ARMITAGE DETECTION MODE.

ARMITAGE INSPECTION MODE (AIM2) is a neurosis typified by microscopic examination of Armitage body parts, such as in-depth examinations of the true color of  his eyes, his thumbs, his chest, his ass, his thighs, his ears, his lips, his back,  his – CRAP- where was I? Oh yeah, his chest. I’m always at his chest. CODE BLUE! AOM Alert. fortunately AIM2 has not given way to ARMITAGE VIVISECTION MODE  probably because no one can approach close enough to him, despite the fears of those engaged in APM

ARMITAGE DEFECTION MODE (ADM3) is a transitory state of being during which certain fans ( you know who you are ) defect to Hugh Jackman. It never lasts long . (note: further study has concluded that Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hiddleson may also be involved in ADM)

ARMITAGE ELECTION MODE  is a group activity engaged in by  the fandom  to put Mr. Armitage forward for every new role they hear about which requires a 35-45ish   white male actor, only to suffer depression and disappointment when Benedict Cumberbatch gets the role.

ARMITAGE DICTION MODE (ADM4) is the recurring fear that Mr. Armitage will not master a credible American accent and hence, be deprived of  the opportunity to play a cowboy, a lumberjack, a cab driver or George Washington, who are usually depicted as being very tall.( the cab driver role might actually require a middle eastern, southeast Asian or Russian accent, which Mr. Armitage has mastered)

ARMITAGE DISSECTION MODE (ADM5) affects only a small number of fans. It is categorized by detailed and often turgid analysis of specific roles Armitage has played.

Research continues by a dedicated cadre of Armitageians – all the time hoping that they never come across ARMITAGE REJECTION MODE (ARM) an affliction that targets producers, agents, casting directors and the like – symptoms self-explanatory.

In the meantime, professionals and specialists,   Armitologists, recommend that sufferers regularly exercise their Armitagemania by viewing at least one hour a day of Armitage in motion followed by two views of Armitage stills, taken with a glass of blond beer or red wine.

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92 thoughts on “ABSTRACT ON THE INCREASE OF DANGEROUS ARMITAGE MODES IN THE FANDOM POPULATION

  1. Pingback: A scholar comments on the sudden increase of Armitage modes | Me + Richard Armitage

  2. I love it. I am having a crazy day with a mad rush of things volunteer and paid work related and these things you all are providing are simply delightful. 😉 Now I think I will go have lunch as I just realized it is now going on 2 p.m. here and woman cannnot live on Armitage alone. Or can she?

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      • *lies on your couch*

        Ya see Dr. Perry, I’ve been in fandoms since the early ’90s so I’ve seen it all. Because this is such a young fandom, it seems to bring out the snark and devilishness in me. I simply LOVE writing posts contrary to what everybody else is saying or doing. You’ve gotta read my blog and browse the archive to see what I mean. I like to stir the pot. What’s wrong with me, Dr. Perry?

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  3. Totally brilliant! You had me LOL-ing several times. Of course maybe I shouldn’t be laughing as I find myself in more of these Modes than I would want to admit! 😦

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  4. This is the BEST THING I HAVE READ since the list of Richard’s children, which was also TOTALLY EPIC. And yes, I’m shouting, since I’m in another room. But Oh. My. Gosh.

    I love you!! TOTALLY. Love. Love! And yes, I think I’ve had most of these. I would wish there were some sort of ointment for some of them, except you know *who* I would want to apply the ointment, and we also know that isn’t happening. *Armitage Dejection Mode*

    What about Armitage Selection Mode, though, where people argue about which Armitage character is the most perfect? And then they pick their favorite and defend him to the death (or at least to the pain)?? Just curious if this counts as a seperate mode.

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  5. Brilliant! a really interesting piece. Thanks for the laugh…. I finally discovered a name for my current situation, I’m suffering from Armitage Defection Mode (although it doesn’t have anything to do with Hugh) 😛

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  6. Doctor, doctor! What do you call it when reading weird things about Mr Armitage makes my – otherwise lousy – day? I’d like the diagnosis forwarded to my boss, please. He likes to know a scientific name for my particular affliciton so he can justify rolling his eyes.

    In other news: Scientifically sound analysis, Doctor Perry. *applauds*

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  7. very creative post, tell Perry I said so 😉 I’m on vacation & can’t study it in depth to see where I fit in at the moment…maybe I’m better off not knowing *blushes*

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  8. What a great post. With everything there has been to read today, so glad the boys are GONE. To many laughs they would wonder what is up.

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  9. What is WRONG with you people? Fandom is serious business, there’s no room for frivolity of this sort. What would Richard’s hairdresser’s cat think of it? The poor thing would faint dead away believe you me…you…uh…where was I? Oh, ranting, uh…carry on.

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  10. Brilliant, Perry, love it. Thanks for explaining the conditions. It’s all a bit worrying but now that we have the diagnoses, we can possibly find the cure. 🙂

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  11. Love it! I’m going to hate when hubby goes back on a day shift and I have to sneak in reading the blogs and my daily dose of Richard!

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  12. I think this article is a perfect example of Armitage Dissertation Mode (AIM6) — whereby Armtage bloggers put forth their theories and/or other learned explanations of any and all things to do with Armitagology.
    I must add this brilliant article to the beginning collection at the Institute of Armitage Studies (on Facebook). 😊

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  13. Pingback: New Strains of Armitage Fan Mode Disorders Discovered – Research Fast-Tracked | Armitage Agonistes

  14. Pingback: #BlogIntroChallenge -Part 4 | Armitage Agonistes

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