So, this is the story of why the relative silence here

Without links, without pictures, without a lot of proofreading. I thought I owed readers here and fellow Richard Armitage fans some sort of explanation.

So, here’s what happened ( I think)  because I’m not sure my conclusions are correct – to the extent I’ve been able to come to conclusions.

Oh, and this is not a “Farewell, I’m Closing this Blog” post. It’s just a recitation of a series of happenings and not happenings that have caused the silence. I think.

Just prior to learning that that,Richard Armitage was going to appear on stage in Love, Love, Love in New York City, I found myself cooling off with the whole Richard Armitage fandom thing. It had nothing to do with Richard Armitage, with any decisions he made, with anything he wrote, and certainly there is not another fandom crush I have or want to write about. But, for reasons, some I could identify and some I couldn’t,  I was on the fence. I will say that some of the reasons have to do with segments of the fandom which annoy me. But that wasn’t it in full. (Although really, do you read his Twitter feed? I could go on for paragraphs about some of the nonsense I read there. I mean, could it be any clearer by now that he uses Twitter mostly only when he has to? And when he veers from that, he usually, in my opinion, the minority opinion, screws it up)


Still,  when the #LLLPlay became a reality, I had a fangirl boost, and began making plans to go to NY to see the play.  This was a good sign. The fact is, I was getting ready to schedule some surgery – not serious – but I was paying for it. Instead, I put the surgery off and went to New York. I wrote a few posts about the trip – before, during and after.  I never got around to an actual review of the play or much detail about my #LLLPlay experience.

Once I was in New York, visiting with family and friends and exploring my city, I experienced this cross-over syndrome, and it confused me. Have you ever been in a situation, maybe some event, a party, a funeral, where folks from different parts of your life meet for the first time? It can be unsettling even when you love them all.

That’s a little bit of what I was going through in NY. I basically chose to “get the play out of the way” at the beginning of my visit, and move on to other things.  Except, Berlin Station was also a factor, and I would have the opportunity to see the newest episodes without worrying about its availability in Mexico. ( I drove my poor brother nuts in East Hampton playing around with his Time Warner account and EPIX and all the rest of it) So this was just another example of that cross-over syndrome. Now he was involved in Armitagemania.

I went to the play two different nights with different friends – but they were (a) friends with whom I had gone to the theater with on a regular basis for years usually together – that is, we all went together, and, (b) in one instance I went with a friend – a good friend – who is or was completely unsupportive, even hostile, to my fandom activities once she learned about it. I had tried to explain it a number of times, both before and after she learned what the blog was about, but I don’t think I made any headway. To her, it was just ridiculous. And for that reason, on the second night, I found myself anxious and distracted before and in the theater – not to mention after the play when we discussed it.  (First night companion, Positive Friend, is completely non-judgmental, or anyway, has never said anything negative about my blogging. She liked the play and we had lots to talk about afterwards. In fact, she lived in London or just outside it – could’ve been Reading for all I know, and was raising her sons during some of the  time  covered in the play.

I’m so tempted to go off track here and tell you that Negative Friend and her husband bought their son an apartment in the village ( that would be Greenwich Village) when he came home from college, and that his career decisions made about as much sense as Rose’s, so one would think parts of the play would have resonated more than it did, ( or more than she let on that it did) but that discussion will just get me off track. Suffice it to say that she, as a mother, is the absolute polar opposite of Sandra and Kenneth.

But I digress. My point was that unlike other fans who either lived in NY or travelled to NY for a short time just to see the play, meet up with friends and explore the city – for me it was different. I couldn’t really concentrate of fandom too much. I didn’t want to.

I was fortunate enough to introduce myself to Claudia Ludwig, who I recognized both nights, and to meet up with Guylty and Linda60 for a lovely afternoon on my last day in NY.  And I did have fun, in my own way, observing the fandom from afar, although not all my observations were warm and fuzzy.  I should say that at the last minute I booked a third performance at the very end of my visit to New York, and I should also say that I walked out of the play after Act II, never to return. Twice  turned out to be enough. And anyway, I hated my seat.

I’ll also admit that I was a bit bummed out when I learned, after the fact, that some of my favorite bloggers were in the audience that very night, and I didn’t know it or meet any of them. I knew some were there, like Guylty, Zan and Judi, and one or two others who I thought I recognized – but I thought it was a missed opportunity not to have met or sought out the rest. But that was part of it – I didn’t seek them out and only one or two fellow fans knew I was there.

I’ll also confess that one of the reasons Guylty and I decided to meet up when we learned we would be in NYC at the same time, was that I was the winning bidder for the Empire Magazine, Thorin Oakenshield cover  that Guylty auctioned off, and it seemed safer for her to hand it to me than for her to try and send it either directly to me in  Mexico or to a Texas address for which I pay a service to a Mexican company that schleps mail back and forth across the border. ( I think I told the story previously of my  unsuccessful efforts, in sub-freezing NYC winter weather to find the magazine in New York). I’ve yet to crack it open.

Anyway, long story a little shorter, Richard Armitage, even live, shirtless and figuratively, maybe even literally spitting in my face, took a backseat.

But, I decided that I would address those feelings, sort them out, back in Mexico.

I said this was a recitation of happening and non-happenings.

The key non-happening? President Hillary Clinton.

You see, I returned to Mexico early in the morning on the day of the presidential election.

And nothing has been the same since. Nothing. The world hasn’t been the same. My country hasn’t been the same. Probably you haven’t been the same.

I always took  a lot of inspiration for posts from scrolling Twitter and Facebook for articles and news – but ever since the election, I find that most of the time, I skim the Richard Armitage stuff and go right for the news. I can spend an hour or more on Twitter just retweeting with comments some of the upsetting, incredible, harmful, even humorous stuff I read. I want to be heard about this, but who’s going to hear me? Well, there are a few Richard Armitage fans who respond to my  political tweets or Like or RT. And oddly enough, even though I have hardly posted anything of note on this blog in months – I keep getting new followers, and I’m damned if I know why. But this is what I want to write about right now – and not Richard Armitage.

For a minute there, I got really excited about Pilgrimage being shown at the Tribeca Film Festival and thought I would go back to New York to see the film. Of everything on Richard Armitage’s horizon, Pilgrimage was the film I was most excited about because I like that genre. I will probably buy a ticket to the film, just in case, but I’m pretty sure I don’t want to go back to New York right now. If I did go, I wouldn’t want to stay more than a few days – less than a week would be my choice. But, there is only one airline that flies direct to New York from Guadalajara, and only twice a week, and not the right days and not the right times.  I would have to stay longer than I wanted to, or choose a more expensive and less convenient flight with layovers. A 5 hour trip would morph into a 9 hour or longer trip at several more hundreds of dollars. I don’t want to do it. ( I still might do it)

There’s also the possibility that Richard Armitage will be on the London stage in 2018. I joked that I had to start saving – and then I thought about it and realized that, if I were to travel to Europe, I’d rather go to Italy than London. But why worry about that now?

I’m also mindful of something Obscura wrote on her blog about some of the reasons she hasn’t been posting as much – and she threw out the idea that maybe it has to with the roles Richard Armitage is taking – that what first attracted her and still attracts her may be the John Porter/Lucas North action hero roles. This could be true for me as well.

I was enormously disappointed in Berlin Station. Just gutted. I’m hoping that the writers and show runners took something from what fans and critics had to say and will do a better job for season 2. Daniel Miller was not engaging. I thought that character was almost a prop.

And BTW, have you noticed how little has been written about Romeo and Juliet? I haven’t written a word about it after having a listen.

So there you go. I’ll happily explain to you in 3,000 word posts, the details of every lawsuit challenging anything the Trump administration does, but beyond that, for now, I just don’t feel like writing much else. The hours I used to spend searching and reading about Richard Armitage are spent on the state of the union.

But P.S. Not sure what this means, but over the weekend I watched season 5 of Cold Feet. It did nothing for me ( well, embarrassment by proxy), so maybe I’ll move on to Moving On. That one always cheers me up.






62 thoughts on “So, this is the story of why the relative silence here

  1. OMG! I wish I’d known you were there! Where were you sitting? Would have loved to have seen you again.

    So you’re in transition too. When I returned to blogging, I talked about whether I’m really moving away from RA and fandom, although I would really hate to leave the fandom. Got another autograph from RA and realized I wasn’t the least bit nervous (or excited for that matter) which told me that I was emotionally moving on. Like you, I haven’t blogged about LLL because The Election Happened and I’ve been politically submerged ever since. As Joan Rivers said, can we talk?

    Hope you manage to sort out the whole RA thing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • There was sort of a mix-up. I thought I’d mentioned it to you and Zan, but I guess I didn’t. Anyway though, it was my choice not to go downstairs and seek you out ( I was in the Mezz) We can always talk.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I was excited to buy a ticket to LLL last summer but ended up not going because of surgery. I was very appreciative of all the advice you gave me when I was planning to travel to NYC. I’m sorry I couldn’t put it to good use.

    Somewhere along the way I became less interested in RA. I am obsessed with the news and spend most of my online time reading about what 45 and friends are doing. The rest of the time I’m on dog sites. I think I’m in six or seven groups related to dogs. So that’s my thing now – politics and dogs.

    It was nice to hear from you. See you on twitter 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m sorry we didn’t get to connect while in NYC. 😦 It would have been fun to see you again.

    I understand your feelings when encountering cross-over syndrome between long-time friends and fandom friends. I’ve encountered this and it IS confusing and disconcerting. It does change the dynamic of the situation in ways that are difficult to describe.

    You’ve nailed it. I haven’t been the same since that Tuesday in November. The strange happenings, governmentally, of late have quieted my blog’s keyboard. A few posts by my favorite bloggers, including this one, have given me some impetus (not enough, yet) to clear the cobwebs from my space. I’m hoping the kick comes soon.

    Thanks for sharing, Perry …

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for commenting. The funny thing is that I’ve read some thoughts that our fellow bloggers and fans wish, or are even thinking of leaving for other countries – and here I am, sort of wishing I were back home with the rest of you. Me? LOL, I’m on the other side of the never going to happen wall,

      Liked by 3 people

  4. I think it’s very natural for you to be preoccupied with the news right now. Anyone who isn’t, ought to be. I’m just sad that Negative Friend could not find it in her heart to be supportive, but I have encountered the same conflict trying to integrate my fan life with the rest of my life. People who have never been fans just don’t get it, even if they mean well. It is a mystery to them. In any case, I have a feeling that when “Pilgrimage” comes out, you’ll be feeling fanly again.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I don’t know about that if I don’t see Pilgrimage right away. Negative friend is a good, dear and long time friend – but on this issue, she is stubborn. But, she did (a) help me get the tickets with her RTC subscription, come to the play with Husband ( also my friend) ,treat for pre-theater dinner, and offer up her apartment while she was poll watching in Florida – so it’s this one of the few things ( there are one or two others) that can be an issue with her.

      Liked by 1 person

      • All of us have our issues, and most friendships are worth maintaining in spite of the rough bits. But I have to admit that I have learned through experience not to talk fan stuff with non-fan friends. Every so often I can’t help myself, so they have to accept that as one of my “issues”!

        Liked by 3 people

    • Interesting enough . That fandom life what I just don’t get 😶 I like Perry . She is very down to earth . I don’t write a blog now . I think I just want a personal blog with notes scattered around . More likely . The time I was on twitter , but I am off , because it takes time out of my life and takes time of concentrating of my family . And yes , I don’t get this fandom life 😶

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Your post gives me plenty of food for thought, Perry. I am really glad you have addressed all this here, I think there are lots of things in it that many of us struggle with it – fandom issues, time management vs. “more worthy” topics such as current political situation, the always-present cross-over/justification issue, and role choice of the OOA. Your post – combined with what I read today at Judiang’s and Serv’s – certainly makes me re-evaluate some of those issues and fandom participation in general, too. I am curious to see how this discussion develops in our circle within the fandom.
    As to your blog activities slowing down – I find that quite “natural” in the context of the times we live in. And also when considering the fact that Mr A himself has not given us much since both LLL and BS closed last year. I am actually grateful – time to recalibrate our own activties as well, and possibly re-focus. Change, even if enforced, is a good thing.

    Liked by 4 people

  6. I had to go over and look at Servetus’ latest, because I thought maybe it was a vocabulary post when I saw the title. Strange timing for both of us. For me, it isn’t a question of what’s more important or worthy or even time management. It’s lack of inspiration and some mental exhaustion. I could write a whole post on his Twitter habits and how relieved I am that he’s been silent for so long – but to me, the answer is pretty simple, and I said it. He uses Twitter because he has to, and his few forays into something more have, IMO for the most part, not been successful for me.
    If we can get a discussion going about this inertia, because it isn’t only me, that might be more rejuvenating than something from the man, himself.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I had been writing that post since something like last August. (That was when I was reading _A Little Life_.) But things kept happening and it kept getting out of hand. Then I changed it to a blogiversary post, and spent three weeks drinking and arguing and staring at the dictionary rather than finishing it. You finally pushed me over the edge to finish it last night!


      • It’s pretty easy to tell that you’d been working on your post for some time. But since August? So, when we knew about LLL but before you saw it, and before the election, but after Brexit. I have to give that some thought.


        • I just looked: it was the first week of September that I created the draft, and I have revised it at least 27 times. That might be a record for me; usually stuff that gets revised that often never sees the light of day. By mid-August I’d gotten to the point of “I just don’t like him very much” but I wasn’t teetering on the precipice, I think because i was looking forward to the play sooo much. The election changed so much.


    • Je pense qu’il n’aime pas l’idée d’avoir des fans et encore moins l’idée de leur être redevable de quoique ce soit, l’idée de devoir les remercier. Ses messages sur twitter, ne sont qu’utilitaires, guidés par l’idée d’en tirer un bénéfice financier maximal.
      L’histoire de rééduquer le goût des fans en jouant un rôle de cannibale est très révélatrice. Il nous prend pour des personnes à électro-encéphalogramme plat.
      Le pire reste les messages supprimés, ceux qui portaient à mettre en cause sa personne, ses opinions ou qui portaient à poursuive sa réflexion. Ce qu’il exprimait très bien en condamnant les personnes qui suranalysent.
      Il rend peut-être les fans responsables de son évolution de carrière, qui frise le sur place, voire même la régression. Sa place semble être au théâtre ou dans des rôles de personnes extravagantes.
      Peut-être que la dislocation des sites critiques, comme le votre, le satisfasse.
      Je suis triste, car le partage intellectuel, dans le contexte mondial actuel, qu’offrait un site comme le votre, était pour moi très enrichissant et éclairant. Le débat est positif, quel qu’en soit l’issue, mais encore faut-il, qu’il reste des participants. Bon courage, bon vent.

      Liked by 1 person

      • You’ve hit on one of the points I decided not to discuss, and that was, I found myself more motivated to write about his personal failings, IMO – like that interview you cited where he said it was his intent to make his fans like something they didn’t like – open their minds – all to justify taking that role, as well as his inartful writing, preaching and general F-ups on Twitter and in his messages. Te first thing like that which incensed me, was his desire to call us ( and have us call ourselves) well-wishers, instead of fans. He managed to convert at least half the fandom with that one.


        • That was really annoying. I think I’ll decide what to call myself, tyvm. But he’s not the only celeb to do that (Cumberbatch has well, and there may be others).

          Liked by 1 person

        • The issue with suggesting that fans call themselves ‘well-wishers’ instead – interesting, at the time I did not find it particularly invasive or prescriptive, but you (and Serv) do have a point. When he first suggested it, I thought it was just a bit of a play on Tolkien (from the opening scene in Bag End: “We don’t want any more visitors, well-wishers or distant relations!”), as well as an expression of his discomfort of the notion of having fans. It’s an unwieldy word, though, and ‘fan’ is much easier. I guess that is a fail for Mr A 😀


          • I should refer to Margaret Hale in N and S and write “I WISH YOU WELL” Guylty, Servetus,…. English fans in London,…and at last PERRY of course.

            Liked by 3 people

            • Squirrel – is that a good-bye, are you going to step back from fandom? Sorry to hear that, but you are making good arguments. Thank you for your good wishes – and the same for you, too.


              • That’s not how I read Squirrel’s comment ( depending a good deal on Google Translate). I thought Squirrel, you were making a little joke about “well-wishers,” even though your comment pointed out criticisms (many of which, I too, made.) But on third reading after seeing Guylty’s comment that you might be leaving, I reread, and noticed where you suggested Richard Armitage would be glad to see a blog like this close. ( I THINK that’s what I read)
                I could talk about that and say why I don’t think it would be in his best interest, depending on his motives and other choices.


              • No good-bye. Sometime I would like to, but I can’t. Addiction and brain challenging bring me ever back to the fandom. I AM A FOOL, IT IS REALLY HARD TO UNDERSTAND AND to want to BE WELL UNDERSTOOD, when I do not practise English well and would always remain a scientist not a literary one.
                Thanks for your kind words, they go straight to my heart.
                It wanted to be a kind of little joke, as a pun, a play on words (“well-wisher” versus “wish you well”)
                – to send all of the fans (who, in this journey, feel seem to be in the same state of mind as mine) my gratitude, my affection,
                – to wish you future happy adventures,
                -to send you good, positive waves.


              • Ah, I am glad to hear that Squirrel!! We are all fools, in that respect. I find it hard to step back, too. I have too many wonderful friends in the fandom, whom I would miss if I gave up fangirling for Richard.
                And I totally understand your wordplay on “well-wisher” now. Sending you happy and good wishes in return! x


      • This article is badly written, because I put too much data, it is rough, confused and above all I am too critical and do not explain my assertions. Otherwise you understood what I meant and I agree with the comments you made below.
        It is only in dictatorships that the single consensual opinion has the right to quote. The diversity, the opposition expressed are the interest of the debates; It is only from this type of debate that the truth can be grasped.
        Without non always well-wishers’ fan’s blogs? RA would not have been knowned as he ought to be, as he always should have been .


    • (Ooops, your reply didn’t show up in my notifications.) Agreed on his Twitter use.
      As for lack of inspiration – I do feel some of that, too. The fact that I have never felt the impetus to write a LLL review, or to do episode-by-episode reviews of BS, speak volumes to me. However, I wonder whether some of that is also due to simply having been a fan for almost 5 years now. What was exciting in the early days – the immediate reaction, the need for interaction and validation of one’s own fascination with RA – it’s been done. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Back then, those things also served as ways of establishing oneself within the fandom. Now, at a point where we feel “established” in the fandom (as bloggers who have a blog that provides regular content, often in a particular niche; as fellow-fans who have made friends with other fans), maybe the immediate need to comment/interpret does not present itself anymore?
      Which is exactly why I would love to do something that would give reason to myself and other bloggers to create original content again. Something like a “communal re-watch”. That’s an idea which I discussed with KellyDS the other day – deciding on a piece of work by RA, watching it within a given, generous time-frame, and then committing to a blogpost on the film/episode and/or the experience of re-watching it. Just a reason to look at old favourites and re-evaluate it – with an added community aspect to it. (That idea is probably not to everyone’s taste, and it is certainly not new, as this is what happened way back in ‘Spooks’ times etc., but anyway, it would also serve as an opportunity to get the missing spark glowing again…)
      Anyway, it looks as if we can’t expect any rejuvenation efforts from the man himself at the mo. I find your post here much more interesting to discuss, anyway, than a predictable RT of the latest BS casting news from @RCA…


      • This gets to what I said to Perry (below I think) about there being things I was willing to do five years ago that I am not interested in doing now. In 2010-12 my “generation” did a ton of these things and had a lot of fun with them (there was a rewatch at Calexora’s now extinguished blog, and Twitter rewatches and so on), and as people told us at the time, it had been done a lot on the fan forums a few years earlier. I think the problem is less that I have moved “past” that stuff (or as you say, you’re not interested in episode by episode discussions of BSt) but that the new cohort that would have appeared and done that kind of thing is not doing it. I think the group of people who naturally gravitated to blogging from 2009-2013 or so (and the kind of writing, art and thinking it facilitated) is now being eclipsed by / succeeded by a group of people who aren’t interested in that kind of creativity, represented by the Twitter fandom, which seems primarily interested in news and gossip. This has something to do with the medium, as well — Twitter isn’t so conducive to most of the stuff we did and attracts a different crowd, and as soon as that became Armitage’s primary choice of SM it was clear that that was where the center of gravity would go. It was a vote on his part for superficiality and a repudiation of the kind of community that fans had created before.

        I’m not opposed to a rewatch, and I’ve been really involved in that kind of thing in the past. However, my personal motto at the moment is “life is short,” and I am now making the conscious decision to do only things that directly further or respond to my own creative impulses. My impression, though, is that people other than us are being creative in the ways they want to be. The central Twitter crowd is not bothered by the tag in the way that I am — the superfans there are all about being publicists and getting the news out — hence their policing activities, because of course a publicist does not want any negative publicity. (This is something I never wanted to be, and have written repeatedly against, and have resented when it was pushed on me.) Therefore, I conclude that that is what they want and they don’t want other things. The tumblr fan art people are still going strong, albeit not as much in the tag as they used to be, and the fanfiction people are mostly still writing away, and the shippers are very active in their own little niche.

        Judging from what I’ve read, although I have no plans to stop at the moment, most blogs don’t last as long as ours have. People run out of steam. And we sort of lost the attention of the group of people who might have started the “next gen” of blogs around the end of the Hobbit. Esther and Preoccupied have established themselves but iirc everyone else who appeared around that time disappeared. I think, had Daniel Miller been a more compelling character, we might have gotten a few people out of that — but even there, I feel like people have decided that Twitter is the way to go (e.g., there’d be a great blog idea in something like “Daniel Miller’s World,” but the people closest to that topic have opted to tweet it rather than constitute it as a project apart from Twitter and their own fan forum).

        Anyway, this is a bit meandering but I guess I’m saying that walking over ground where I’ve been as a blogger primarily for the sake of revisiting that space is not that inspiring of creativity to me. I’d need a more compelling reason, and that reason is not ever going to be “reenergizing the fandom,” at least not at this point. In the meantime, the reason for continuing to blog is that I have my own questions to answer.


  7. Okay, a lot said, so different aspects to reply to here. I know that many have been questioning their role in the RA fandom. I have not been, but fully respect any that are feeling unsure, while at the same time hoping they stay. It seems often that has at least as much to do with other fans than with anything else. Personally, in my ninth year in, first a fan, who was finding my way, then a quiet observer (this was the longest period), to an active participant, I am still all in with no doubts. I try to ignore the unpleasant fans when possible, and be as kind as I can force when it’s not. It makes me very upset that they have been able to drive others away. Everyone is allowed to disagree, or criticize what they see fit, including Richard. Neither have his choices given me any reason to question, although I like some better than others. I think if all made it into the theaters preferably, and to DVD/streaming otherwise, it would infuse all of us.

    The climate throughout the election season seemed as upsetting, bizarre, emotional, ugly, and detrimental to health as could be. Until the night of the election. That heartbreak melted into so many emotions all together that they were not possible to sort without time. Things couldn’t get any worse. HA! It soon became clear that for an unknown period of time, until implosion and impeachment, or four years, or worse eight, this country will be one we don’t recognize. All that was good in the Obama administration would give way to all that is bad. Worse than bad, dishonest, treacherous, mean, vile, evil, uncaring, and probably more. The worst in this society was given leave to hate other and all. Other races, religions, countries, cultures, orientations, doesn’t matter, they have proven they can hate them all. We are always on edge, don’t sleep, depressed, anxious, fear losing healthcare, fear laws that will effect this country for decades to come. Many fear their families being torn apart, many already have been. We fear relationships with the rest of the world being destroyed, our only hope is the intelligence of those other leaders. We fear retaliation and violence from extremists. All of this.

    Let’s not forget the resistance. The organizing that began at 3:30 am to fight all of it. Or the largest, worldwide march and rally ever seen. Or the spur of the moment protests at airports with no organization. All the others that have come since. We will get through this and come out the other side. It will take time to reverse and repair. We can’t give up. I’ve joked about living somewhere else, but why should I leave? Let them leave if they hate what this country stands for so much.

    I know, I got off track. You are not alone. I hope you do what makes you feel best. Right now, mostly that’s contributing politically. It’s your blog, Twitter, Facebook. Write whatever the hell you feel like.

    Liked by 1 person

    • And let’s not forget: perfectly nice people who have / are turning into nightmare versions of themselves. I observe this among conservative friends — I find myself asking, wow, were you always like this? — and worry it’s happening to me. I feel like my liberal friends are also becoming more left, and I’ve had to struggle to maintain my normal political inclinations.

      Liked by 3 people

    • @Jane, I’m pretty sure that a segment of the fandom considers me to be one of the unpleasant fans – mainly for criticizing – or my favorite pet peeve being accused of over analyzing. for at least the first 18 months, this blog wasn’t all that I wanted it to be -mainly because some of what I wanted to do, other people did better. I wanted it to be analytical, but also humorous, and I find that my favorite posts over the years are the early ones, and the funny ones. But it turned into a news blog most of the time, thanks to some fan friends who searched better than I did, and got up earlier than I did. And then there was, and still is, a reluctance to really let go about feelings – except when it comes to fandom, which I found easier to do.
      As to the political part, living in Mexico makes me feel a little out if it. For one, I don’t have access to 24 hour TV news, so I have to depend on Twitter ( or I did, until I found something better). I read Twitter, follow all sorts of news sites, and then read the articles linked therein. A day later, I can find all of yesterday’s news broadcasts – but they’re yesterday’s and I need at the minute info. I’ve found internet RADIO, which has filled the gap. It’s hard to resist here, in another country – but not impossible. There are groups in this Ex-pat community that have started all sorts of projects and programs to resist. We had our own march, for example and it showed up on the world-wide lists of international marches on January 21. I’ve offered my services as a lawyer to friends who might need some research and writing done on particular issues involving court challenges, and every few weeks, I give a few dollars to the ACLU and other groups who are charged with defending civil rights. This year, I edited a Purim spiel ( you can look it up if you don’t know what I mean, but I think you do) that managed to incorporate some satire into a parody of Fiddler on the Roof, which also told the story of Purim ( oy vey). I should have written about it. Did you know that part of the story is that the Persian king ( in the Purim story) sent out his ministers far and wide to find him a new wife? It was, in essence a beauty pageant. Had a lot of fun with that ( and fiddling around with Matchmaker, Matchmaker).
      So far, I have only encountered one real life friend who was – not a Trump supporter, but an anti-Hillary voter – don’t know what she did ultimately, AND she works for Goldman Sachs, which, at the time was on Trump’s hit list, and one person on Twitter whose political views and rantings astonished me for a while, until I figured out, it was always there.
      And yes, I agree and we have talked about it elsewhere, that now, there is the right to hate out loud. Here, in an outdoor restaurant, at the very next table from me, and in a loud voice, some woman actually called President Obama the N-word – something she could probably do where she comes from in Texas, but even here, in our community, it was incredible to me to hear this said out loud.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Well LOL, I think who one considers an unpleasant fan is much akin to what Americans you think are wrong. It all depends which side of the issue you fall on. So, I don’t consider you unpleasant in either regard.
        I do want to apologize for my earlier comment. It was a very lengthy statement to post.
        Try to be funny more often. You may find it helps you to deal with the stress of the new world. 😃


  8. OMG THANK YOU for this brilliant essay: in all its disjointed bewilderment. Though my specifics don’t match yours (at all, actually), somehow you’ve expressed my situation, too! The “inertia.” YES, that’s the issue. Yes, let’s talk about THAT.

    About the crossover attempts. Early on, I hosted a N&S party in my living room for several long-time Very Important Friends, thinking that I was going to change their lives, right? I’m still trying to forgive (in my heart) the one who blurted, “Is he ever going to stop glowering?” during hour 3. Lesson learned: keep this among your new internet friends.

    If you decide to come to NYC to see Pilgrimage and want to hook up with a few of us locals (who are attending more than once, yes) let us know. Quietly, if you prefer. Can be last minute—but don’t sneak in and out. There’s something amazingly comforting to be gleaned from giggling about a movie star crush with a few other middle-aged women who “get it.”

    Though I’m frustrated, too, I’m still reading blogs every day, because…there’s just something about this fandom that gives me solace. PLEASE keep writing. About whatever you wish—him or otherwise.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks. I’ll consider that(a bout New York). I don’t mind the 7 P.M. show on Sunday, but I really wouldn’t be happy with the later shows during the second week. Still, I’ll be looking forward to hearing about the experience, and maybe some objective criticism as well. LOL about friends. One of them said ” his nose is so pointy he could do needlepoint with it!”

      Liked by 1 person

      • There are others who don’t live in N.Y., who feel the 7:00 show is the only realistic option to be able to travel back home again.


        • LOL, We could all get an AirB&B in Brooklyn. The theater is way downtown, and a few long blocks to several subways. I’ve never been there, but used to work near that area. Hotels down there are expensive.


  9. Thanks for writing this down and documenting the journey.

    I, too, am crazily occupied by politics. I always knew I was more interested and better informed about them than the average American, but I could console myself that I didn’t spend as much time on them as my friends who did scholarly work on the 20th century. But now I find myself staying up late to read up about the history of US foreign policy toward North Korea, which I never really cared about before. Andrew Sullivan made the point a month or so ago that the defining difference of many fascist governments is that you’re never free to ignore the news. They are organized along the principle of change so they have to keep things changing as rapidly as possible and this is no accident.

    I think (apart from how I feel about Armitage in it), LLL has some uncomfortable resonances for many of us. It’s made me way more sensitive to certain kinds of conversations, particularly those with my father. This might have happened regardless of your encounter with NF but I’m sure that all of that exacerbated it.


    • NF thought, as many of us did, that Amy Ryan didn’t pull it off for Act I at 19, and also commented that her legs weren’t good enough to hold up those lines in the script about how good her legs were ( OK, I agreed with that, especially in white stockings a la Twiggy), but they weren’t terrible legs either. She thought they should have had different actors for Act I – but I disagreed completely, and I thought Armitage pulled it off well enough. He had the feel of a young man, whereas, as I said at the time, I didn;t think Ryan pulled off being 19 – aprt of which I attributed to her dialogue.
      Politics. For someone like me who worked in government at a level that had to take politics into account for much of what we did, I don’t know enough about it. What I do know, ( and which Trump and Co. don’t) is how our government works. IMO, I think you can get an agency head (cabinet secretary) who is not knowledgeable about the subject or mission of an agency, but can still be a great manager/administrator, or at least have a team beneath him/her who knows what’s what. Trump is missing this and will continue to miss this point as he gets rid of career people in favor of business people. I’m curious to see how he deals with his Mexican wall and all it would take to get that project off the ground – the time it will take, the approval processes, how to deal with an RFP, etc. I see great frustration for him – and lots of waivers.


      • I agree with you. RA made really great job for act 1. I loved LLL because of the actuallity of the subject and because of RA’s acting in ACT 1 (my teenagers and husband too).


  10. Oh, I meant to say, re: segments of the fandom being a turnoff — people have frequently said that about me, so it’s territory that I don’t necessarily like to broach in detail publicly. Also, the reason for Twitter to be there is really so that anyone can literally say what they want, and I am a strong supporter of maintaining that feature and not policing it away; Armitage’s insistence that everything that anyone said to him, or to each other with reference to him, or possibly in general, remain G-rated, created a lot of negative consequences. But even given my philosophical stance on that platform, I agree that Twitter has been a desert lately. It got a little better briefly in January and I was feeling optimistic again that people would start having real conversations, but the last few weeks have been pretty wretched. It’s certainly anyone’s right to beg incessantly for a tweet, but I wish there were something else going on in the Richard Armitage tag. Is that really all we have to talk about? That said, there are certain things I was prepared to do in the name of fandom seven or five years ago even that I am not prepared to do now.


    • It bugs me no end – the begging for tweets, but also, and I just don’t get this, why fans have discussions with each other on his twitter feed that often have nothing to do with him at all. I have never told anyone to stop, but I reserve the right to dislike it. I have no clue how he feels about it or whether he reads it most of the time – but as a blogger, I have to read it, and it annoys the shit out of me.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I think it depends on whether he’s being tagged. Hardly anything requires that. He doesn’t need to be bombarded with tweets on his feed. Some things can be hashtagged if they relate to something specific. I will never understand the constant I love you, please, why don’t you answer… business. Falling into deep depression while tagging him is unkind to put on him. Seriously, it is NEVER going to happen. He isn’t going to fall in love with a groupie, and many of these are groupies. He isn’t going to single out one to answer, and not the other 200,000. Delusional! However, it’s their right I guess if it’s their thing.


        • I’m not worried about him being bombarded with tweets; that is the purpose of Twitter. Also, I think we have to distinguish between the tweets of an individual who is clearly severely troubled (this can happen any time; there are outliers in every crowd; it makes me worried about the individual, but not about the fandom) and the extent to which it becomes an ingrained sentiment in the fandom (this bothers me no matter how much I try to remind myself that what others say or do has nothing to do with me).


      • something has happened to the Twitter algorithm — a lot of stuff is getting filtered out (the roleplayers are gone, and someone else who can be ubiquitous doesn’t seem to be getting picked up in the unfiltered tag any longer). Agree re: needing the info that might be there and getting annoyed at what one finds, however. And not that it’s my job to care about this — but the fact that the major topic in the tag for weeks has been “why isn’t he tweeting / please come back” means that his fandom looks even more unattractive to newcomers.

        The thing is the only solution to all of this would be to try somehow to put enough stuff in the tag to dilute the stuff one doesn’t like and in fact, I think there are tweeps who seem to be trying to do this. I just can’t. I don’t have the energy.


        • Not to mention, when one is writing, well-wisher is a big pain in the ass compared to fan. And are we part of a well- wishingdom or a wishing well? I agree with squirrel that sometimes I think he thinks his fandom is a burden that he has to live with. And I suggest there’s a big part of the fandom that probably refers to themselves as vell-vishers.

          These comments are screwed up as to placement. What do you mean about the filters and role players? I don’t understand.


          • There were people tweeting in Spanish and in Russian who were playing a role playing game in which they were playing the role Richard Armitage. They’re not in the unfiltered stream anymore, as far as I can tell. Neither is Richard Armitage US (interestingly).


            • Do you mean, when you say unfiltered stream, @RCArmitage? I imagine RArmitageUS is not tweeting him ( I think she’s been hit with the political situation the way we’ve been), but I would have to sign on with of my dummy accounts to see. I’m blocked. But, for some reason, I get some notices of her tweets on my RL email.


              • If you search twitter for “Richard Armitage” while logged out, you used to get everything with a hashtag #richardarmitage and everything with “Richard Armitage” in plain text, along with everything tagged @RCArmitage. This meant that everyone who also had “Richard Armitage” as part of their Twitter handle or name was also included in the search results — so “Richard Armitage US” and “Richard Armitage Mexico” and so on were also included. This is what I’ve been calling the “unfiltered tag.” (So, for instance — your tweets about politics haven’t appear there, because your Twitter name is “Armitage Agonistes” but those of “Richard Armitage US” did because she had the whole name as part of her name.

                The Twitter algorithm has been changing over the last year. There was a big change in the middle of last year when it started only showing you “valuable tweets” when you were logged in. But you could still see all of the tweets if you were logged out. A few weeks ago, however, what appears in that tag has changed, so that people don’t automatically appear in the tag even if “Richard Armitage” is a part of their name or handle or if it’s part of the text and I suspect (although I haven’t tested it yet) if it’s hashtagged. So, for instance, although Richard Armitage US has been tweeting away about politics all night tonight, none of it is in the unfiltered tag (and neither are her relevant tweets, interestingly). I would say about 80 percent of my tweets that relate to Armitage make it in — but not all of them. I can’t see the roleplayers anymore.


  11. I think you mentioned this to me 4 or 5 times. It just goes in and out. Yes, she is tweeting furiously. So, I just tried that without logging in. Not much action now besides US


  12. I’ve been a fan for so long that for me I know the addiction ebs and flows. Nonetheless I am always interested and for a very long time Richard has just always been there, sometimes up front and center and often enough just in the background. I’m not a huge Daniel Miller fan, so for me he’s a bit in the background now. Even so, there is always this love-baseline that is there and I am always triggered when anything Armitage is mentioned. And then when something new is announced or finally makes its way to my screen, then I am right there front and center!
    When I started blogging I’d already been a fan for quite some years and knew I had this eb and flow thing going, so I consciously decided my blog wouldn’t only be about Richard but about others things I love as well. I find that for me that is the way to get through the lulls… I just blog about other stuff too.
    And OMG yes, I can sooooo very well imagine being weighed down by the political situation so much that that is where all the energy goes! I feel the same way – this is the most critical political time in my lifetime, I feel, and it just can not be ignored!
    So, yeah, you’re in a lull right now, but maybe in time, with some new stuff, enthusiasm will return? I hope so! And if not for Armitage then maybe for other stuff that you also may want to blog about.


  13. Pingback: Armitage Agonistes Makes it to Four Years | Armitage Agonistes

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s