Perry Pops Her Cherry or Richard Armitage Gives a Lap Dance

Today, I took Richard Armitage for a  test drive. I’ve never seen him on the big screen and I’ve been unsure of what format to select for my first viewing of The Desolation of Smaug, so when I passed a local multiplex theater yesterday that recently underwent major renovation to add some 3D screens and  noticed Gravity on the marquis, I got a bug.

This morning I treated myself to the 10 a.m. show with the intent of seeing the DOS trailer and leaving shortly thereafter.

The theater was like a large screening room with  leather-like over-sized, automatic reclining seats. The armrests lifted up so couples could cuddle together. Not an issue this morning,  since there were only about 10 people in the entire theater –  most of them, like me, alone. I have visions of lots of parents and some husbands shelling out $ 13.00 for some expensive but satisfying naps down the road.

Trailers abounded – the good with the bad. I saw Sylvester Stallone and Robert DeNiro in a pitch for a silly seeming boxing film ( a shout out since both made names for themselves playing fighters ( Rocky and Raging Bull); Kevin Costner, Kenneth Branagh, Keira Knightly and Chris Pine  made an appearance in the new Jack Ryan Film (Branaugh slim as he’s been in years, and maybe with some recent “work” done); Keanu Reeves looking good in 47 Ronin ( great 3D effects) and yes, even Bendedict Cumberbatch was there in Osage County, along with a great cast including a favorite of mine, Chris Cooper.

And then, last up, the familiar music swelled, the black screen,  the recognizable font,  “Coming to Theaters December 13, 2013” and we’re off and running. First Bilbo, and then – there he was – Richard Armitage, bigger than life and practically in my lap, his low, certain voice filling the theater seeping in to my every pore.


I died. I grinned from ear to ear. I gasped.

Knowing what was coming in the trailer was a big help, otherwise, I would have missed just about everything, which is what’s going to happen when I see the film.  But today, I knew what to look for and I missed nothing – not a second of Thorin on the screen.  I may have seen him more often than he was there, since I think his stunt double was used in two of the shots – but at the time, I thought I was seeing the real deal.

There are three close-up scenes with Thorin where I noticed 3D effects – the most powerful was when he stopped Bilbo with his sword. thdos-trailer02-093

The trailer also shows, in succession,  3D close ups of Thranduil, Thorin and Gandalf – I was nose to nose with them. It was stunning – that is – paralyzing. Thranduil is almost hypnotic.

Of course, it was over too soon.

I stayed for a good portion of Gravity, leaving only when I became slightly dizzy and a bit tired of flinching as space debris bore down on me – which made me decide not to see TH:DOS in 3D for my first time – I’m opting for IMAX or one of the other formats. . The 3D glasses were big for me and required concentration to keep them on my nose and overall, the experience was distracting. I’ll go for 3D the second time. It’s definitely worth seeing, but I want to be as free as possible the first time out.

So, I’ve finally seen Richard Armitage on the big screen. True, it was  like a quickie in the back seat of a car- but the anticipation and the excitement made it a satisfying experience for two and half minutes.

So, mission accomplished. I’m no longer a virgin.

Screencaps from TheOneRing.Net

70 thoughts on “Perry Pops Her Cherry or Richard Armitage Gives a Lap Dance

  1. Great report — it’s good you did this, or you might have been completely overtaken by him when you went to see TDOS. They’d have had to call an ambulance!

    Seriously, though, there is something amazing about having that VOICE all around one.


      • We know. 😀 We really, really know. I didn’t get to see it in IMAX last time… I’m planning on wearing extra pants for the first time of that. EXTRA SPEAKERS. :O :O 😯


  2. Oh, my goodness, I am dying over here! Glad to know you finally got the full Richard/Thorin effect. Maybe local theaters will show the first movie before the second one comes out. If they do, make sure you go. There is nothing quite like seeing the door to Bag End open and hearing Richard say: “Gandalf”. I almost fainted. Really.

    Congratulations on the lap dance too! 😉


  3. Oh, this makes me wonder if I will be able to watch the 3D version myself, suffering from chronic and terrible migraine 😦 We’ll see. Probably I will follow your path. First time normal second in 3D.
    Which scenes do you think were done by RA stunt? Of course the flying Thorin at the end but the second? And how was Smaug in 3D? I’m not that interested in it, but very curious about its shape and effect seen in 3D.


    • I don’t remember Smaug. I think RA did at least one of the explosion jumps, but not all three. It could be the angle, but the forehead and nose looked different in two of them. I think a stunt man jumped into the barrel, unless the whole things was green screen.


      • Someone said the dwarf jumping on the barrel is Kili, but I’m quite sure is Thorin and certainly not RA in that case. Too risky, I suppose. But then RA said they did every sequence in the Barrel Escape except the waterfall… I’m a little puzzled. We need to ask it to some more loquacious dwarf 😉


  4. I remember my first time also. It was a bit embarrassing, since I was with 3 others at the time. 2 hours and 49 minutes in heaven…and it seems like it was good for him too. And for everyone, actually. Next time, it’s just him and me baby…and about a few hundred others, I suppose.


      • 3D vs 2D is a different question than frame rate. You can read about RealD here:

        Those 3D films use polarization (like your sunglasses) to trick you into seeing 3D. RealD uses a circular polarization technique as opposed to you a linear one. What polarization (oversimplification) does is it gets you to see images that are created with a single camera lens as if you were viewing them with two eyes — creating artificially the perspectival difference between the two eyes of a human. This means that traditional films were very dark because each eye was seeing only half the frames.

        Frame rate, in contrast, is how many frames of “film” go past the eye in the second. Traditional films are made at 24; PJ was filming at 48. The 24 fps film has to be digitally edited to reduce the number of frames passing your eyes at once. 48 fps makes the film appear “brighter” because each eye is now seeing twice as many frames. Upper tolerance of the eye is supposedly something like 55, but the next big productions (Avatar II) are going to film in excess of that — there will literally be pieces of the film your eye doesn’t perceive, I guess.


  5. What a spectacular first time! Just enough to make you yearn for more. 😀

    I saw the plain vanilla 2D version of AUJ in cinema but I wasn’t armitaged at the time. I can’t decide how to go about it now. IMAX the first time, alone? 3D the second time, with company? Or just 2D, since there will be kids. I want to see – and definitely hear! – as much as possible, but I don’t want to risk any distractions.


  6. I think seeing The Hobbit in all the formats available is a wonderful excuse to just keep coming back for more. For the record I enjoyed plain ol’ 2D the most BTW.


  7. It’s quite an experience, Thorin on the big screen. The drawback of watching it in the cinema for me is that I will have to contain myself and won’t be able to comment loudly. Like “Yeah” and spontaneous applause when Thorin graces the screen the first time, or a hearty “UNF” at the barrel scene (I hope) or all the other sort of comments that enthusiastic fangirls make to like-minded individuals. Wouldn’t it be fun to rent a whole cinema and sit there among fangirls only?
    Anyway, glad you had your first night (morning) with Thorin on the big screen. And I admire your devotion – shelling out for a movie you didn’t want to see just to see the trailer.


  8. That’s great you were ‘wowed’, Perry. There’s nothing else like that big sight and sound. I loved 3D/48fps, but I really loved sitting in the second row looking up at our mesmerising dwarf with a room full of devotees in May- that was an experience that’ll be hard to replicate.


  9. Wow, you’ve got it bad, my girl!! Going to the theater at 10 AM to see a trailer!! LOL! Who would’ve thought! Armitagemania indeed! You go! I saw AUJ twice in the theater, and that’s how I got Armitaged.


  10. Lovely account of your first time, sweetie! I shared my first time seeing him on the big screen with my hubby. It was actually good to have someone there to calm me down afterwards. I know I wouldn’t have been able to drive. *giggle*

    I loved the reaction of my girlfriend when she and her hubby and I and my hubby double-dated to see AUJ. It was hubby’s and my second viewing (in 3D 48 fps, which we both loved). It was my gf’s first time seeing a 3D movie of any kind. She also didn’t know anything about RA. The two of us sat together flanked by hubbies. The guys were loving the 3D bit, and the story in general. But when the door to Bag End opened, and Thorin turned to the camera, I heard my gf inhale sharply and mutter, “Dear LORD!” while grabbing my hand and squeezing hard. Then he spoke, and I seriously thought she broke a bone or two in my hand. We had a serious discussion after the film regarding the “amazing dwarf.” *giggle* (Of course, our hubbies just rolled their eyes and started talking about cars. 😉 )

    The four of us are going to see DOS together. This time, I think we’re doing IMAX. Because, hey, Thorin at 52 feet tall … ’nuff said. 😉


  11. I just can’t decide. I need advice. I am definitely seeing it in more than one format ( except maybe regular 3D). I’m leaning towards IMAX and the theater is convenient.
    Does anyone know, can 3D 48 FPS be shown on any screen or any 3D screen? Does the screen even matter? Because maybe it will be playing in that format where I went yesterday, which is also convenient.


  12. My choice for DOS will be the RealD 48fps. I saw AUJ three times – twice in that format and the other in IMAX 3D. We chose the RealD the first time because my granddaughter gets extremely motion sick and is subject to panic attacks and can’t handle regulare 3D. She suffered no ill effects at all, contrary to what some reports were saying.

    The second time I saw it was in IMAX 3D and I didn’t like it at all!! I’m not normally affected by motion sickness but I was with this, which surprised me, so back I went to the RealD 48fps for my third “experience”! A “plus” for me are the glasses for this format as they were actually comfortable, unlike regular 3D ones! I would like to see both movies in 2D as well – only for research, naturally 😉


    • I didn’t know IMAX came in 3D. The one I saw yesterday was billed as Real3D. every time I think I have it straight, I get confused again- but I’m prone to dizziness, so I would have to take that into consideration. I’m going to see more than one format anyway.


      • yes, there’s also IMAX 3D although I never managed that format — I did manage IMAX Dome which was enough for me. I think the end there were something like nine different formats for the film.


        • I’m going to see IMAX regular ( is that the same as Dome?) and 3D 48FPS. I think I’m set on IMAX first- but that could change. The 3D doesn’t seem that important to me, but I want to see the 48FPS, and since they go hand in hand ( they do, right?) that’ll be the 3D experience.

          I should add that I saw AUJ in 3D on a 55″ or there about TV. It was fun but not as stunning as Avatar or nature movies.


          • No, IMAX Dome has a special curved screen.

            At least last year, you could watch it in 48fps w/o3D.

            The formats I was aware of / saw it in at least once, iirc, were

            24 fps 2D
            24 fps 3D
            48 fps 2D
            48 fps 3D
            IMAX 2D
            IMAX 3D
            IMAX Dome 2D

            At some point cost started being a factor — around something like the 7th or 8th viewing I started to get annoyed at the price and I also honeslty felt like the 24 fps 2D was excellent on its own terms (although that is not the format it was shot in).


              • aaaw, it’s not that bad.

                You choose on the frame rate between what you like in films — the darker, more atmospheric look comes from 24 fps and the brighter, sharper look comes from 48 fps.

                You choose on 2D or 3D based on how you feel about 3D movies generally — do you like the added effect of motion and involvement that 3D tries to recreate or do you prefer the traditional format? Jackson’s argument was that 48 fps 3D would cause less queasiness or eyestrain than 24 fps 3D, but I think opinions are split on that — I’ve heard people recount experiences on both sides.

                You choose IMAX or not IMAX based, IMO, basically on how “big” you want to see the film and how closely you want to sit to it. The IMAX screens are taller and you sit in a different relationship to them.

                If you go to IMAX Dome, the higher you sit in the theater (which is like sitting in the side of a wall), the lesser the nausea. This was the only format that made me queasy but it *really* made me queasy.

                The film was shot in 48fps 3D, so that’s the native format — closest to what Jackson wanted you to see. All of the other formats are digitally altered — in 24 fps they edit out some of the pixels, in IMAX they add some — via computer software.


  13. Pingback: Richard Armitage Legenda 100: Stuff worth reading | Me + Richard Armitage

  14. Pingback: Premieres of The Desolation of Smaug for the rest of us — Can you make HFR plans? | Me + Richard Armitage

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