Perry’s feeble attempt at the challenge found here.
You know, you’ve been a real asset to me and the rest of us here. Your hard work, cooperative attitude and work ethic – well all your special talents, really, have been appreciated.
But, I’m going to have to let you go.
Why? Well, as it turns out, the female staff just can’t concentrate around you and a few of the men as well, now that I think about it. When they should be listening to your innovative ideas and jotting down notes about how you see the direction the project should take, instead they’re thinking about innovative positions and doodling “Mrs. Armitage” on their pads. Even now, I confess, I’m tempted to straighten out that sweater for you, smooth down where it’s wrinkled over your chest, button the last button way down there, or maybe just take the whole thing off altogether.
I wouldn’t call it Dragon Sickness. Maybe Ooof Sickness. Just a taste, just a whiff, get too close and there’s an irresistible urge to want more.
Is there no other choice? Well, I’d have to keep you away from the staff. Tell you what, if you really want to stay, I can put another desk in Dr.O’s office. You’d report to her exclusively. She claims she’s immune to your charms. Inoculated, as it were. Might have something to do with that magic ring she wears on her left hand.
What do you mean how can you thank me? I’m human. You have resources. figure it out.
LOL that’s super funny! 😀
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Thanks for reading, and commenting.
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“Oh and before you go, you got a piece of lint in your beard. Just let me get that for you.”
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Yeahhhhhh.
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And it’s not sexual harassment at all, for those of you who might be wondering. Because that only applies to unwanted advances, and he wanted it, I know he did.
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Since one of my jobs for the government was teaching sexual harassment prevention I would know exactly how to do it without getting caught. (Looking both ways, one for the boss, the other for the copier room)
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Or the broom closet.
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…with my tongue.”
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Psst, Prof O wonders if prolonged exposure to the oof might reduce the efficacy of said ring. As a dedicated academic she is willing to test the theory…
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I’ll bet you are. Meanwhile, make some extra room on your bookshelves.
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I am pretty sure there is room in my office as well. We could always move (̶t̶̶o̶) the sofa… 😉
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Hell, I’d find room in the broom closet. Actually, the broom closet has some advantages.
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Isn’t that where brooms do broomy things? Wouldn’t they feel a tad interrupted?
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Okay, so that didn’t work. How do you cross out words here?
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Perry, not feeble at all and pretty funny. You’re permanently on The List. 😉
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Thanks. And by the way, do you know why notices of your new posts show up in my “promotions” tab? I’m always late seeing your blog.
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I can only think gmail looks at blogs as promoting stuff since WP has ads…and you’re never late on my mail…
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I can’t imagine anyone ever being able to concentrate in an office with a man like Richard working in close proximity. “I” would be positively useless, in terms of any actual work getting done. Only once was there temptation at work (um…not AT work, but an individual…well…you get it), and that was nothing comparatively.
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You just reminded me of a job I had with the Navy and there was a guy I worked for that was gorgeous, Joe. He was nice too, sort of (now that I know how RA is) a mini-RA. I can remember I had to turn my desk in a different direction, because I found myself staring at him all the time. He gave me ride to my sister in laws in Annapolis from Washington, DC because Jon was on a trip for the Navy. I thought I would die being in the car alone with him for an hour. The thing was we both had our arms on the console touching through the whole drive, like neither of us wanted to move our arms. (armgasm) Can you imagine doing that with RA?
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To Arkie and Crystal: I had a really, really stunning co-worker in one of my jobs ( Actually, a few) but this guy, he was so well built that whenever he left my office I would peek out of my door just to watch him walk down the corridor. He was even hotter from behind.
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There was a UPS guy like that, and at several jobs. Yep, the stereotype exists. Every woman in the office stopped what they were doing to look, every time.
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And even better when they’re wearing their shorts.
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Some legs are better than others, but YES. 🙂
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Yes. And I would not be able to function. My motor skills would shut down.
Oddly, my story about the co-worker has a similarity…but extended. After I had been working there for a while, we began to ride share. I honestly don’t recall who suggested it. I will never forget how he smelled, or the heat that came from him while in the car. We deliberately avoided touching as often as possible. At one time, accidental contact happened while exchanging documents and there was a tangible, slightly painful spark. We stopped the ride share.
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I hear you. I was quite shaken after the ride, thinking I can’t do this again. I’ll walk before I’ll get in a car alone with him ever.
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It is hard to make such a choice, when the pull is so strong. But m.a.r.r.i.e.d., and so… again…another classic example of my timing in this life. 😦
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Your feeble writing is far from it, this is very good and funny. I am the one who writing is feeble and will save it for school work where I hope to get A’s. At one time many moons ago ( the 80’s) I had wanted to be a writer, but that all changed with a teacher who didn’t like my writing, I just gave up.
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I’d like to strangle that teacher. The real writers here can tell you more, but just because some people don’t like your writing doesn’t mean it’s not good or has no potential. Maybe next week you will screw up some courage and try out the new ooof ficlet event. And “funny” isn’t a requirement.
But if not, no problem on this end.
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Loved this. Funny and great dialog. I never worked with any man remotely cute or handsome. Well.maybe I did, but my memory cannot penetrate the mists of time. I have been married to Mr. Jones way too long. Not that I stopped looking, I just can’t remember seeing anyone worth looking at. And then…. Richard.
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Thanks for the complement. I think a tiny piece like this is all I can muster.
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