The syndrome known as ARMITAGE PROTECTION MODE (APM) came to my attention awhile back when I was engaging in one of my newest forms of relaxation, reading Armitage blog archives. First identified by noted Armitageian, RAFrenzy, the syndrome has come to mean the circumstance in which one set of fans ( the Protectors and Defenders) worries about and takes action against other fans who get too public about what they think they know about Mr. Armitage’s private life or who publish real life fantasies or fanfics in which they appear with the real Mr. Armitage.
APM is an outgrowth of two other Armitage conditions. The first to be identified was ARMITAGE OBJECTIFICATION MODE (AOM), first coined by Servetus on “Me and Richard” and which, frankly, I think we’re basically all suffering from, ( squee, oomph, yum, slurp, thud, ) – the joy and need to gain pleasure from looking at Richard Armitage . Perry examines this here.
Studies ( by Perry) have shown that AOM is actually a more severe strain of what she identifies as AIM, or “ARMITAGE INTROSPECTION MODE,” in which the fan searches deep into her psyche to explain her fandom, explores her non-sleeping dream states, and discovers that waking up next to imaginary Armitage , allowing him to make her morning coffee and advising her on how to handle the snafus in her life, is a better antidote to the deep therapy that the Protectors and Defenders think she needs.
But I digress.
If ARMITAGE OBJECTIFICATION MODE (and its off-shoot ARMITAGE INTROSPECTION MODE) is the first condition that gave rise to APM, then ARMITAGE DETECTION MODE, also discovered by the neophyte, Perry, is the second.
ARMITAGE DETECTION MODE (ADM) according to Perry in her paper, ‘Abstract on the Increase of Dangerous Armitage Modes in the Fandom’. ( WordPress 2013) is the obsessive compulsion of thousands of Armitage fans to scour news, social media sites, other blogs and message boards- and yes, even municipal property records, in order to ferret out every scintilla of fact or rumor that offers up the latest news, photo, comment, beverage choice, literary interest, movie attended, regarding Mr. Armitage.
Researchers ( Perry) have begun to identify an alarmingly growing number of related Armitage disorders spreading rampantly in the fandom, including the rarely diagnosed ARMITAGE DEFLECTION MODE (ADM2) an obsessive need to rebut or explain away any, even minutely critical, statement against Mr. Armitage. Examples are, his occasional omission of the possessive apostrophe (maybe he doesn’t approve of possessiveness) and his inability to think on his feet in a world-wide broadcast and produce the title of a song that typifies his life to date ( isn’t ‘It’s Blank” a song? Maybe the weight of his curls were impeding his brain function).
ARMITAGE DEJECTION MODE( ADM3) is the severe depression and ennui that attacks the fandom when there is no new mention of Armitage in press or social media despite flare-ups of ARMITAGE DETECTION MODE.
ARMITAGE INSPECTION MODE (AIM2) is a neurosis typified by microscopic examination of Armitage body parts, such as in-depth examinations of the true color of his eyes, his thumbs, his chest, his ass, his thighs, his ears, his lips, his back, his – CRAP- where was I? Oh yeah, his chest. I’m always at his chest. CODE BLUE! AOM Alert. fortunately AIM2 has not given way to ARMITAGE VIVISECTION MODE probably because no one can approach close enough to him, despite the fears of those engaged in APM
ARMITAGE DEFECTION MODE (ADM3) is a transitory state of being during which certain fans ( you know who you are ) defect to Hugh Jackman. It never lasts long . (note: further study has concluded that Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hiddleson may also be involved in ADM)
ARMITAGE ELECTION MODE is a group activity engaged in by the fandom to put Mr. Armitage forward for every new role they hear about which requires a 35-45ish white male actor, only to suffer depression and disappointment when Benedict Cumberbatch gets the role.
ARMITAGE DICTION MODE (ADM4) is the recurring fear that Mr. Armitage will not master a credible American accent and hence, be deprived of the opportunity to play a cowboy, a lumberjack, a cab driver or George Washington, who are usually depicted as being very tall.( the cab driver role might actually require a middle eastern, southeast Asian or Russian accent, which Mr. Armitage has mastered)
ARMITAGE DISSECTION MODE (ADM5) affects only a small number of fans. It is categorized by detailed and often turgid analysis of specific roles Armitage has played.
Research continues by a dedicated cadre of Armitageians – all the time hoping that they never come across ARMITAGE REJECTION MODE (ARM) an affliction that targets producers, agents, casting directors and the like – symptoms self-explanatory.
In the meantime, professionals and specialists, Armitologists, recommend that sufferers regularly exercise their Armitagemania by viewing at least one hour a day of Armitage in motion followed by two views of Armitage stills, taken with a glass of blond beer or red wine.
This is an absolute gem. I will need to print it out and study it more carefully to bolster and confirm your research findings further 😉
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Thanks. And Perry is open to the identification of even more Modes that fit the general parameters.
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Pingback: A scholar comments on the sudden increase of Armitage modes | Me + Richard Armitage
Oh, man. This is so much better than what I was thinking of writing about this. Fantastic!
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Gosh! Gosh! Gush,
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Thanks for the laughs! really funny and … shhhh… a bit true 😉 Always good thing laughing on ourselves 😀
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My sentiments exactly.
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I love it. I am having a crazy day with a mad rush of things volunteer and paid work related and these things you all are providing are simply delightful. 😉 Now I think I will go have lunch as I just realized it is now going on 2 p.m. here and woman cannnot live on Armitage alone. Or can she?
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Watermelon?
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LOL! I have been craving watermelon—Benny is supposed to look for a small seedless one for me today.
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Hilarious! Wonder what mode I fall in- Armitage Fandom Bubble Popping mode? 😉
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Please explain further. There’s a mode for every affliction. I’m happy to diagnose.
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*lies on your couch*
Ya see Dr. Perry, I’ve been in fandoms since the early ’90s so I’ve seen it all. Because this is such a young fandom, it seems to bring out the snark and devilishness in me. I simply LOVE writing posts contrary to what everybody else is saying or doing. You’ve gotta read my blog and browse the archive to see what I mean. I like to stir the pot. What’s wrong with me, Dr. Perry?
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Excellent!
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Welcome Movie! And Thanks. Come back again.
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Love this, Perry! Really well done! Pretty exhaustive research there. I think someone has been doing a lot of Richarding these days. LOL! Thanks for the laughs!
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Thanks. I had fun with it.
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There’re also Tom Hiddleston and Benedict Cumberbatch strains of Armitage Defection Mode. 🙂
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I can attest to that…I have “cheated” from time to time. (It’s good to stay abreast of all the trends 😉 )
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Outstanding…this needs a special place in the Armitage Annals!
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Are there Armitage Annals? There should be!
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I just made that up 🙂 RANet is probably close to that, but I don’t think it is totally comprehensive. Even the venerable Ali can’t catalog *everything*… 🙂
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Anyway, we should wait before publishing annals because others might have discovered new virulent strains.
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You’re right. There should be some kind of compilation of brilliant blog posts, though. Although I guess me + Richard Armitage really does that, with Legenda and all. Yay, Serv!
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I came across a dictionary when I was working on this. I think the terms would fit into that.
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Cool!
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We don’t have one? We need to create one. 🙂
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Reblogged this on The Arkenstone Blog.
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This really is hilarious! Very witty and not far from the truth either! 🙂
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Thanks for reading. I had fun writing it.
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Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Rich! Rich who? Rich I would have wrote this!!! LOVE IT!
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You’ve got me laughing.
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Totally brilliant! You had me LOL-ing several times. Of course maybe I shouldn’t be laughing as I find myself in more of these Modes than I would want to admit! 😦
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Don’t we all?!
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This is the BEST THING I HAVE READ since the list of Richard’s children, which was also TOTALLY EPIC. And yes, I’m shouting, since I’m in another room. But Oh. My. Gosh.
I love you!! TOTALLY. Love. Love! And yes, I think I’ve had most of these. I would wish there were some sort of ointment for some of them, except you know *who* I would want to apply the ointment, and we also know that isn’t happening. *Armitage Dejection Mode*
What about Armitage Selection Mode, though, where people argue about which Armitage character is the most perfect? And then they pick their favorite and defend him to the death (or at least to the pain)?? Just curious if this counts as a seperate mode.
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First, – what a compliment- Richard’s children was just an hour ago! But seriously, the researcher hopes that public awareness and self-reporting will help continue the battle to stamp put these dreadful diseases, and Armitage Selection Mode (ALS) will have to be studied. It may be a strain of Armitage Election Mode.
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Was it just an hour? Oh. (snort) I thought it had been this morning. Hours and hours. I guess it’s been a really long day… there’s been a lot going on here since Richard’s kids. :}
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Well, maybe longer. I was occupied.
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On reflection, I think ALS is an affliction all its own.I am thinking of setting up a think tank to work on this, I’m working on a name and a distinctive ribbon we can wear.
I’m asking for ideas.
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lol The problem you might hit with that one is that GoG fans will want black leather ribbon, John Thornton fans might want tea-dyed white cotton (or perhaps yellow rose from the hedgerow), Harry fans will vote for stripey knit ribbon, Thorin fans will want Pelty Pin, etc.
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Great – just great!. We have to get this out there in a poll.
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I’ll vote on it!! I have my favorite! lol
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Brilliant! a really interesting piece. Thanks for the laugh…. I finally discovered a name for my current situation, I’m suffering from Armitage Defection Mode (although it doesn’t have anything to do with Hugh) 😛
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Welcome.If not Hugh, then who?
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oh, I’m just returning to my roots… a spanish heavy metal singer, I love him for a long time and the best is that I understand him completely (sometimes my English comprehension decide to abandon me)
I still love Richard, but I’m letting him rest of my adoration…..
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Well, you have varied tastes. That’s for sure.
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Ha ha ha! this is great, Perry 🙂 Thanks for the laugh…and O Lord! *o* I have almost all symptoms!
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We’re forming a support group.
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LOL! I’m sure that I’ve suffered through all of these myself.
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Good lord!! So those of us who have more than one of these (and there are many of us) might have Chronic Armitage Complex Enthrallment (CAKE)??
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Or just CAC for short.Pronounced as Richard Armitage would.
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(quite seriously) I think we’ll need to get an audioclip of him saying this, just so we can, um, be sure.
It’s important to be sure.
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Doctor, doctor! What do you call it when reading weird things about Mr Armitage makes my – otherwise lousy – day? I’d like the diagnosis forwarded to my boss, please. He likes to know a scientific name for my particular affliciton so he can justify rolling his eyes.
In other news: Scientifically sound analysis, Doctor Perry. *applauds*
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Hi Bryni. Maybe Armitage Detection Mode- but I’m not sure. We’ll have to think about that question.
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Hi back. 🙂 This and a few other things are turning a sucky, serious day back on track again, so thank you for that.
Oh, and if you need another study subject, I will be available for all sorts of measurement and categorization of this viral strain – in the interest of science, of course.
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very creative post, tell Perry I said so 😉 I’m on vacation & can’t study it in depth to see where I fit in at the moment…maybe I’m better off not knowing *blushes*
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Enjoy yourself. It’ll be there when you get back.
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What a great post. With everything there has been to read today, so glad the boys are GONE. To many laughs they would wonder what is up.
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Thank you. What else was there besides the WIKI vandalism?
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That is it that I know of. But still a great day of laughs.
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agreed!
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What is WRONG with you people? Fandom is serious business, there’s no room for frivolity of this sort. What would Richard’s hairdresser’s cat think of it? The poor thing would faint dead away believe you me…you…uh…where was I? Oh, ranting, uh…carry on.
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I sense a clear case of APM with attendant ADM1. You May need an extra dose of Richard stills tonight.
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If by stills you mean extra glass of wine, I’m all over it.
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LOL! This is a great riff and should be required reading by all RA fan wannabe’s Ha!
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Thanks Grati. I’m a fan of yours. Glad you enjoyed it.
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I enjoyed reading your post here again!
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When is the next AA meeting? My name is Fanny and I’m an Armitologist.
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You bring the donuts-I’ll send invitations.
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I’ve just been another blog discussing the length of hair you need to braid your hair so the bead will stay in and not put your eye out.
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Well, we can do some braiding while we try and cure ourselves.
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You bring the donuts, I’ll bring the beads…I’m also an ex-hairdresser.
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This is the best! Thanks so much! Reading your essay has fulfilled my ADM quota for the day.
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I’m going to guess that’s ADM 1 for Armitage Detection Mode. Thanks. Happy you enjoyed it.
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Brilliant, Perry, love it. Thanks for explaining the conditions. It’s all a bit worrying but now that we have the diagnoses, we can possibly find the cure. 🙂
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Thanks Guylty. I hope you’re relaxing on your Vaycay (holiday)
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Love it! I’m going to hate when hubby goes back on a day shift and I have to sneak in reading the blogs and my daily dose of Richard!
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There must be an unexamined condition for those symptoms -sneaking around with Armitage. I’ll have to give it some thought.
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I think this article is a perfect example of Armitage Dissertation Mode (AIM6) — whereby Armtage bloggers put forth their theories and/or other learned explanations of any and all things to do with Armitagology.
I must add this brilliant article to the beginning collection at the Institute of Armitage Studies (on Facebook). 😊
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I love this Phylly3. The research Foundation, yet to be named, we’re looking for a good acronym, will definitely conduct some trials to determine whether AIM6 is a fatal time-waster or a therapeutic idiosyncracy. (are you PhyllyFave?
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That’s me! The only Phylly out here (so far as I know).
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Glad to have you aboard.
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We all know he was in a musical with felines…I think we should call it CATS—Chronic Armitage Thudding Syndrome…
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You mean we should call the research foundation CATS?
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I actually meant to write Sanitarium…
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How About Center for Armitage Treatment Sciences CATS?
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I’m definitely in Armitage Election Mode! Damn that Cumberbatch
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Stay Tuned Fab
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We could use Society — Spa — Symposium — School —
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Yes- Society.
Okay, well that one is going on the poll for sure.
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